Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
