brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
