Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
