I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
