how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
