I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
