America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
