she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize