Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
