My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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