My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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