I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
