i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
