my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
