it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
