So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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