it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
