I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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