What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
