the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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