How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize