its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
