3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
