Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
