I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
