Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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