we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
