He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
sex in a hospital.. check
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
