Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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