One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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