just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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