when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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