Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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