Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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