you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
