last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize