You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
