What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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