I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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