So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
