I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
