they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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