Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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