this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
