fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
