All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
