We named our party play list daddy issues
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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