She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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