It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
