I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
