another moral hangover. fuck.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
