I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize