I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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