so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Life is so much better after having sex.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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