Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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