Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
