I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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