Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
