So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
