VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
