Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
