Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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