remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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