when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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