i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Is Oprah even human
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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