I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
