he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
