K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
