i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
