I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
