we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
