i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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